Doug's Bio.
By Eric.

Doug's bio begins back 3 weeks ago. Yes, he was born 21 days prior to whenever you're reading this. WHENEVER. Doug matured quickly and became a 63 year old woman by the 17th day of his life. As you can expect, this makes him cranky and cold all the time, attributed mainly to menopause, but he also just has bad circulation. So you might be asking what Doug has been doing with his three weeks of life...

Doug spends a lot of time at the Barbazon Beauty School. He enjoys giving a good cut and the occasional perm, but his real passion is pedicures. He has a special female Asian mentor, Mau, whom he has learned everything he knows from. She has taught him the ways around the salon, and no, she doesn't mind the stereotype. Doug enjoys the work, especially the part where HE PUTS PAINT ON WOMEN'S TOES.

In his spare time, Doug says some funny things and occasionally writes them down. He adds these gems to his material collection he refers to as his "Grocery List". People go bananas over it. He also watches movies. He has 4 or 5 VHS tapes in his collection. He doesn't believe in DVD's because they can be used as weapons if people whittle the edges. He doesn't want any potential weapons to fall into the hands of his 2 sons, aged 7 and 12.