Dan's Bio.
By Jeremy Piven.

If each member of Squad Patrol was to describe Daniel Kuffel, they would all say he is the quiet one. What none of them will say out loud or even take one second to think about is that Daniel is the self-proclaimed leader of Squad Patrol. His qualities of contributing tiny amounts of insight to sketches and even providing 1 1/2 original ideas to the group make him the perfect leader.

Most of Daniel's time is spent behind the curtain listening to the other members perform. "The two minutes Daniel makes an appearance on stage are by far the most confusing yet strangely orgasmic minutes I sat through," says Terence VonMuttenheim, an audience member for one of the two Squad Patrol events Daniel appeared in. In his spare time, Daniel spends hours on the net "I-MACking" He has pulled in over one hundred 30 to 40-year-old 400 lb women claiming to be 18-year-old busty virgins, which when you think about it, isn't that impressive. Daniel hopes to do something important someday.